I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Randomize