I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
