idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
