i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
