After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
