Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
