we made out on top of his cat.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
