I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Sex in the backyard? Check.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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