isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Mom said you looked used
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
