Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
