I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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