Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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