i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
