have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
