Can Purell be used as lube?
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
