OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize
