Redeem this text for a blowjob
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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