I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Randomize
