Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
