They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize