D3 body, D1 cock
If i come over, it means nothing
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Randomize
