he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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