??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
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I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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