I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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