He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
