weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
