i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
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