Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
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