Me. At least after what I've been through.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
this must be what syphilis tastes like
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
sex in a hospital.. check
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
