She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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