i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
