I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
