Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Randomize
