Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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