Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
