The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
