See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
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