The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
