Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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