why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
is it fun? or sober?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize