her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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