I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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