No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I think my moral compass just broke
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
