you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
