is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
