I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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