Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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