I think I am morally bankrupt
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
