Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
