she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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