I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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