Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
