At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
