You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
