Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
