Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
