Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
