It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Randomize
