Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
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