God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
