Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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