I'm really into asian looking animals
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
